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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22988440">Because I was your crown</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverDoesntExist/pseuds/ForeverDoesntExist'>ForeverDoesntExist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Eurovision Song Challenge [29]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Armenia - Freeform, EurovisionSongChallenge, F/M, Gen, POV First Person, Walking out - Freeform, thoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 04:54:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>335</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22988440</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverDoesntExist/pseuds/ForeverDoesntExist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Because whatever I've built.</p><p>I'm gonna burn down.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nathan Chen &amp; Evgenia Medvedeva</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Eurovision Song Challenge [29]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1620127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Because I was your crown</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Day 26 I got: Armenia (2019) - SRBUK – Walking out</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <strong>Walking out</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Whatever I've built</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I'm gonna burn down</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>Some people say it was hell.</p><p>I don’t think that’s all it was.</p><p>Some people ask me if I hate her, if I hate them. I can’t honestly say that I do.</p><p>Some people ask me about the physical strain and the eating disorders. Everyone is curious about what we were allowed to do or not.</p><p>But it was more than that. It was the constant fear of failure that I was only able to overcome slowly as I let go of the voices.</p><p>It was the fear of not being good enough and putting yourself always in second and the pride of your coaches first.</p><p>It was not living for yourself and ending up losing whatever it was left of your spirit.</p><p>Broken bones heal fast, a shattered mind takes much longer.</p><p>I still don’t know if I’ll ever manage to get back to what I was, even after all this time.</p><p>“Was it as bad as people say?”</p><p>I stare into Nathan’s caring and careful eyes and I still don’t know how to answer. It all seems like a lifetime ago, like I couldn’t quite remember how my life was before this.</p><p>It was my childhood, most of my teenage years, it was what made me into what I am today.</p><p>I could have left, I could have refused. But then again, since when do we have to choose between success and humanity?</p><p>The decision was made and I can’t regret it, what I do regret is my lack of confidence to understand my worth in order to have enough courage to walk out.</p><p>Would I’ve been the same person I am now?</p><p>I don’t know.</p><p>Would I be here?</p><p>Probably not.</p><p>Would I have met him?</p><p>Never.</p><p>So I raise my head and decide to answer his question. Perhaps one day it would change.</p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>You're no more a king</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Cause I was your crown</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>At last, I feel proud</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I'm walking out</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I love Zhenya and she's one of the strongest women that I know :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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